Have you ever heard of inner child work?

That idea that somewhere inside you, there’s a younger version of you—still carrying pain, still needing love?

Most of us have heard of that.
And it makes sense, right?

But… what if it’s not just one inner child?

What if you had an internal family?

Let’s just take a moment to reflect…

Have you ever felt like a little kid in your adult body—overwhelmed, scared, just needing comfort?
Or maybe like a rebellious teenager—emotional, reactive, pushing back against everything?
And then there are times you feel calm, grounded… like a wise, steady adult who knows what to do.

Now—some people call those inner experiences their inner child…
Or their wounded child,
Their protector,
Their inner critic,
Or maybe their shadow self or saboteur.

Sometimes they show up as emotional flashbacks,
The voice in my head that won’t stop,
My anxious side, my angry side, my shut-down side…

You might have your own name for them.
And that’s completely okay.

In IFS, we call them parts.
But you don’t have to.
Use whatever word feels natural to your system.
And just to be clear—having parts doesn’t mean you have multiple personalities or a disorder.
It’s completely normal. Everyone has parts—different sides of us that show up in different situations.
IFS just helps you understand them in a new way.

This work isn’t about getting it “right.”
It’s about learning to listen—gently—to what’s happening inside.

So now you might be wondering,
“Okay, but what is IFS, exactly?”

In a nutshell, IFS is an evidence-based therapy approach that helps you get to know these different parts of yourself in a way that allows you to build inner safety, trust, and understanding.
It’s like becoming your own best friend.

And like any friendship…
It starts by spending time with yourself in a way that can transform you internally.

So let’s talk about how you can start identifying your parts.

It’s as simple as paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors—
And noticing the different voices or perspectives that arise within you as you interact with people and life.

You might catch yourself thinking,
“Part of me wants to speak up… but another part is scared.”
Or,
“There’s a side of me that’s so tired of pretending everything’s fine.”

These are parts.
They show up in moments of tension, emotion, resistance, or even in your quiet inner dialogue.

The more you slow down and notice, the more clearly you’ll begin to feel their presence.
And that’s where something called Self comes in.

The Self is your innate essence that can heal your system.
It’s the source of your inner wisdom, and in IFS, we see it as the natural leader of your internal world.

Self energy shows up through what IFS calls the 8 Cs:
Calm, curiosity, clarity, compassion, confidence, courage, creativity, and connectedness.

And when you're deeply in Self, you may also feel the healing energy of the 5 Ps of IFS:
Presence, patience, persistence, perspective, and playfulness.

Some people call it their wise self, higher self, adult self, core self, or inner light.
Others know it as source, soul, spirit, the Christ within, or simply the calm inside.

Whatever language you use, the Self lives in all of us—even if it feels far away or hard to believe right now.

In IFS, we learn how to access it… and let it lead.
By cultivating connection between your Self and your parts, deep healing can unfold.
Your parts start to feel truly seen, heard, and understood—not judged or forced to change—and they begin to soften.
They don’t need to scream to be noticed.

So you might be wondering… how does this actually work in an IFS session? What can I expect?

In traditional talk therapy, the focus is often on changing thoughts or behaviors—talking about what happened and trying to manage it from the outside.

But IFS takes a different approach.

Instead of analyzing or fixing, you’re gently guided inward—into your experience—so you can build a relationship with what’s happening inside you.

It’s not about trying to “think better.”
It’s about listening.

Because when you turn toward your pain with compassion and curiosity… things begin to shift—from the inside out.

Some people explore IFS with the help of a trained therapist, and others start on their own with books, videos, or guided practices.
There’s no one right way. You get to choose what feels safest and most supportive for you.

It’s okay not to know how this all works yet.
You can just start with curiosity.
Let yourself explore—gently, and at your own pace.
IFS will meet you right where you are.

And if you’re wondering, “Is this only for people with trauma?” or “Is it weird to talk to parts of myself?”—you’re not alone.
IFS is for anyone who wants a better relationship with themselves.
It might feel unfamiliar at first, but most people find it becomes surprisingly natural—and deeply healing.