Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is a powerful, evidence-based approach to inner healing. At its heart, IFS teaches us that we all have different "parts" within us, each playing a role in our emotional world. However, when we operate from our Self—the calm, compassionate core within us—we can lead our parts toward healing and harmony.

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But what does it mean to be in Self-energy? This is where the 8 Cs and 5 Ps come in. These qualities help us recognize when we're in Self and serve as guiding principles for working with our parts. Let's explore them in a fun, engaging way—with real-life scenarios showing how they shape our inner world.

The 8 Cs of Self-Leadership

These eight qualities emerge when we are in Self and help us approach our parts (and life) with confidence and clarity.

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1. Curiosity – The Key to Understanding
 

​With Curiosity: You gently ask, "Why is this part feeling so anxious? What is it afraid will happen?" There’s no judgment—just an open, childlike sense of wonder.

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Without Curiosity: You react with frustration: "Ugh, why do I keep feeling this way? This is so annoying!" Instead of understanding the part, you push it away, making it feel unheard.
 

Session Example: A client’s perfectionist part keeps them up at night. With curiosity, they ask it what it’s afraid of, leading to the realization that it's protecting them from feeling like a failure. Without curiosity, they just berate themselves for overthinking.

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2. Calmness – A Steady Inner Ground
 

With Calmness: You take a deep breath, settle into your body, and respond to your anxious part with patience.
 

Without Calmness: You react with panic, letting the anxious part hijack the moment.

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Session Example: A client notices a fear-based part surfacing before a big meeting. With calmness, they acknowledge its worry but reassure it that they are capable. Without calmness, they spiral into self-doubt and lose focus.

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3. Compassion – The Healing Balm​

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With Compassion: You recognize that every part, even the ones that cause distress, is just trying to help in its own way.
 

Without Compassion: You criticize yourself, feeling ashamed for your struggles.
 

Session Example: A client feels guilty about procrastinating. With compassion, they acknowledge that the procrastinator part is likely trying to protect them from the fear of failure. Without compassion, they shame themselves, reinforcing the cycle.

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4. Confidence – Trusting Yourself
 

​With Confidence: You approach your inner world with strength, knowing you can handle whatever comes up.

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Without Confidence: You let doubt take over, feeling powerless against difficult emotions.

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Session Example: A client working on trauma trusts their Self to guide them through healing. Without confidence, they feel overwhelmed and avoid exploring deeper emotions.

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5. Creativity – Thinking Outside the Box

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​With Creativity: You explore playful, imaginative ways to work with your parts.

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Without Creativity: You feel stuck, unable to see new solutions.

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Session Example: A client struggles with a harsh inner critic. With creativity, they imagine sitting down for a conversation with this part in a peaceful setting. Without creativity, they simply try to suppress it, which doesn’t work.

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6. Clarity – Seeing the Truth

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With Clarity: You separate your Self from your parts, understanding that you are not your emotions.

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Without Clarity: You become completely fused with a part and act impulsively.

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Session Example: A client has an angry outburst. With clarity, they realize a wounded part took over and can address its needs. Without clarity, they believe they are their anger and feel stuck in shame.

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7. Courage – Facing the Difficult Parts

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With Courage: You’re willing to explore painful emotions instead of avoiding them.

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Without Courage: You resist, numb, or distract yourself.

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Session Example: A client approaches a long-ignored wounded part with bravery. Without courage, they continue avoiding therapy, fearing the pain.

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8. Connectedness – Healing Through Relationship
 

With Connectedness: You build relationships with your parts, fostering internal harmony.

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Without Connectedness: Your parts feel isolated, unheard, and chaotic.

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Session Example: A client dialogues with their inner child, helping it feel loved. Without connectedness, the wounded part remains stuck in loneliness.

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The 5 Ps: Supporting Self-Leadership

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These five qualities help us further embody Self-energy and guide our parts toward healing.

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1. Patience – Giving Parts the Time They Need
 

With Patience: You allow your parts to open up at their own pace.

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Without Patience: You rush the process, leading to resistance.
 

Session Example: A client gently reassures a fearful part that it doesn’t need to share everything right away. Without patience, they demand immediate answers, making the part withdraw.

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2. Perspective – Seeing the Bigger Picture

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With Perspective: You understand that no single moment defines you.

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Without Perspective: You get lost in emotions, unable to see beyond them.

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Session Example: A client struggling with self-doubt remembers that past failures don’t dictate future success. Without perspective, they feel doomed by one mistake.

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3. Persistence – Commitment to Healing

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With Persistence: You keep showing up for your parts, even when it’s hard.

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Without Persistence: You give up when things feel uncomfortable.

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Session Example: A client continues working with a protector part despite setbacks. Without persistence, they stop therapy after one difficult session.

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4. Playfulness – Bringing Lightness to the Work

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With Playfulness: You approach your parts with humor and curiosity.

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Without Playfulness: Everything feels heavy and overwhelming.

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Session Example: A client jokes with an anxious part, making it easier to engage. Without playfulness, they stay in fear, making connection difficult.

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5. Presence – Being Fully Here

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With Presence: You stay engaged with your emotions without distraction.

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Without Presence: You dissociate or disconnect.

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Session Example: A client remains present while processing deep sadness, allowing healing. Without presence, they mentally check out, avoiding the work.

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Bringing It All Together

The 8 Cs and 5 Ps are not just abstract concepts—they are real, tangible ways to interact with your parts and cultivate deep healing. The more we embody these qualities, the more harmony we create within ourselves.

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Next time you notice an inner struggle, try asking yourself:

• Am I approaching this with curiosity and compassion?

• Am I bringing calmness, confidence, and clarity to this moment?

• What would patience, perspective, or playfulness bring to this situation?

 

The more you practice, the more natural it becomes. And as you lead with Self-energy, your parts will feel safer, more understood, and ready to heal.